Schools In

The day all of us parents wait for but then we regret at the same time. The first day of school...... Well for me it is just that way and I think I feel the same way every year. I say all summer long, "I can't wait for school to start". Then school starts and I cry.

Today I sent my children off. I thought for sure it would be an easy day, they both were excited that school was starting. They got up easy, took their showers, got dressed, ate breakfast, I made their lunches and yes I made them take pictures. I will post those later. Well then it started....they started being "girls". The make-up, the hair, and yes being mean about some of their classmates. I hate this. I hate when kids are picked on. Why do I hate it so much, I did it. I picked on people that were not like me. Well if I could apologize to them now I would. I feel horrible. So I really hate when my kids do it and I thought I taught them better. Oh well.....

We get in the car, we are off to our first day as a SENIOR and EIGHT Grader. Yes the older one reminded all day yesterday she would be senior today. Jordan is a beautiful girl, but strong willed is just the nicest way I know to put it. Ally is the exact opposite, most of the time. The older she gets the more like me she becomes. Watch out world! Ally forgets her lunch! "Mom, can you bring it back to me".... "No you are in the 8th grade, I am not bringing your lunch back", "Mom", "Ally", "I am calling dad"! Boy what a lovely ride to school that was. Yes I took the kids lunch back. I enable my children to be lazy and unaccountable. However, when they got out of the car, I was struck with this is the last 180 days, I will take Jordan to school. Ally told us last night she will take teh first part of drivers education next December. My youngest kid driving a car. Hell I can't afford for one to drive, never the less two of them. Thank God John sells cars.

Where did the time go? Where did my sweet little cuddly babies go? Yes they grew up and did I miss something important? I want them to be independant, but I don't want them to stop needing the love of their mother. To kiss away the hurt, the fear and wipe away the tears. All the things I didn't have as a child, I wanted to give to my kids. I hope I am doing a decent job of it. I find being a parent the hardest thing I have ever done in life, although I am sure when I finish my marathon I might think parenting is easy. I only have one regret, that I would of slowed down the pace of our lives and maybe enjoyed the quiet times more. You don't get them back that is for sure.

OK enough of that, I am going to spend the rest of the day crying!