Am I slow because I am out of shape? I have no idea why I struggle so some days (ok most days) or why my lungs do not want to seem to carry me through a short stupid 4 miles. Do I not push myself enough? Do I not cross train enough, have I not lost enough weight or body fat, do I eat so poorly that it doesn't fuel the runs? What the heck is the answer here and what am I doing wrong?
This is a recovery week so our mileage has been manageable. Not hard (until Sunday that is 11 miles) and we are supposed to recovering. I am not sure what I am recovering from since my last few attempts at running have sucked eggs royally and I am beginning to feel bad for my running partner as well as myself. I am holding her back and that is obvious by the heavy breathing I am doing, not able to carry a full conversation on, never the less talk much at all. Yet, Tamara is laughing, barely broken a sweat, laughing and of course being the best at mentally pushing me along. I told her leave me, I don't and would not want anyone to stay back with me because they picked me as their running partner. Kudos to her for being that good of a friend! Thanks, I appreciate you! But if you need to leave me, I will be sad and cry, but go on!
Right now I really am wondering what the heck I was thinking when I thought I could run 26.2 miles. I will not give up, but darn I feel so out of shape and it is really getting old and I don't know what else to do about it.
I am feeling a self pity party coming on. Did I really stop drinking for this? I might have to change that. Pity hates a party of one.
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