My fear of water is really beginning to hinder my progress. Today I had Masters Swim again and what I am finding is that the anxiety of going is taking a toll on me. I am nervous, I am aggitated and can be down right mean I guess. Just ask John.
I have been trying to tell myself to relax that I am not going to drown, there are plenty of people and a life guard if something does go wrong, just breath! Yes that simple, just breath! No, not so simple for someone who at the age of 39 is trying to overcome a life long fear of water. Why won't it go away? What in my head stops me when I seem to be making progress? I just want to cry! I want to sit on the side of the pool like a baby and cry because the fear is screaming at me while I am trying.
I watch all these other people gliding through the water with ease and then there is me. I want to be that person gliding. I want to swim all the yardage she sets out on her little dry erase board and then the FEAR stops me again!
I am not quiting! I will beat this somehow. I just don't know how, but I am! I am going to try and find a book today at lunch. I am assuming the self help section will have plenty. I can't believe I am reduced to a self help book!
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