Friday, January 22, 2010


I think that I have always had a problem with commitment. Oh I can make the commitment but sticking with it is something I lack.

Yes I am married and have been for a what seems a lifetime, but other than that, yeah, I suck at making a commitment. I said the other night when I went to swim, I need to commit to it, like I have running.

Once I got started running, I would just about cut my right arm off to not miss it. I am still that way to a degree. I know there are people that I love to be around meeting me and I can't wait to get there. Same with my bike, the group I ride with is wonderful (I need the weather to get better)and I enjoy knowing they are going to be there so therefore I go. Swimming, yeah not so much. I really like the group I am in, I am just not happy to go. I will find any reason to not go. Once I go, I feel great, I am glad I did it, I learn something each time. I just am not committed to learning to get better.

I am beginning to think that if I go and I commit, then if no improvement happens I have no excuse. Except for the fact that I suck at swimming. But if I don't go and I keep on being scared, then I have an excuse. I still have fits of panic. I don't know why. I know there are plenty of people to save me, but my head in the water thing really sometimes gets the best of me. I feel short of breath and I drink in water and then it is over. My confidence is out the door or down the drain is probably better.

So, starting Sunday, I am going to make a commitment to try harder. To stop complaining about it and JUST DO IT! Let's see how this works for me.

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